Thankfulness

Since the end of the sweltering Chongqing summer, time has flown by with unimaginable speed. I feel as though I missed the entire month of October, but was somehow able to slow down enough to have a Halloween party. It's like I woke up one day in China and actually had a normal life.

Let me recap October: My parents' visit came and went, leaving us with a refrigerator full of glorious cheeses, a bathroom full of organic toiletries and satiated with hugs from home. With them, we visited the beautiful Three Gorges on the Yangtze river by cruise ship during the week long national holiday, which was a spectacular trip. It also drove home the massive impact that the Three Gorges Dam project has had on the region in both good and bad ways (navigation and clean power vs. landslides and loss of livelihood). Given the physical challenges of schlepping around Chongqing, my parents passed the ultimate test: still sprightly enough to mount the 70+ stairs to our apartment after each outing (including Ciqikou, Dazu, Three Gorges Museum and Jie Fang Bei)! My dad earned himself bonus points by waking up early each morning and walking himself around the city (even all the way to Jie Fang Bei) with no Chinese and no map.

Richy and I also became uncle/aunt to a new baby girl at some point in there, although our internet wasn't working well enough to meet her over Skype until she was more than two weeks old.

As time flies by, I'm reflecting more and more on how this experience of living in China and being a Peace Corps volunteer has changed me. The one thing I can say definitively is that I have a new found appreciation for what it means to be thankful. In China, I try to say thank you, xie xie (谢谢), whenever someone treats me with kindness or respect, or does something that makes my life easier, even if they get paid to do it. In Chongqing, people usually respond with the phrase bu yong xie (不用谢) which literally means "don't use thanks," something I have always interpreted to be akin to saying "no problem" or "it's nothing." Today Richy and I thanked a repairman replacing our blown electrical meter switch, and a man watching him do the work told us in Chinese, "You don't need to say thanks, this guy is just doing his work. He's getting paid." Whether the man gets paid to do his work doesn't mean much to me, since I have known many situations in my life (and in China) where people don't do the things they are supposed to do, much to my consternation and inconvenience. I am thankful when people do things to help me, even, and maybe especially, if it is their job to it. I think it's okay to say to people "I'm happy that you exist and that the things you get paid to do also happen to my life better." So I have no intention of cutting down on my xie xie's to people whether they're working or not. There are worse things than being the weirdo foreigner who says "thank you" too much.

Since it is the month to be thankful, I'd like to reflect on all the things that make my life better (even if there is no conscious effort involved to help me). Part of what is humbling about my Peace Corps experience is that I have learned very well how much my privileges in life shape the way I experience the world. There are a lot of things I have that give me a leg up in life, even though I never asked for or earned them:

• First of all, I am thankful for being raised by two amazing, involved, and incredibly generous parents who encouraged me to trust myself and develop independence. I am also thankful that those two people have very different skill sets, which I have inherited and/or learned from each to make me a more capable and well-rounded person. I am also thankful that my dad has always had a job that kept us clothed, housed, well-fed and medically insured.
  
• I am thankful for an awesome partner to share this crazy life with, someone who challenges me and supports me and both forces me to stay ambitious but also keep my feet on the ground. Someone who offers me stability, flexibility and mutual respect. It also helps that he has given me some amazing in-laws (why can't we call them in-loves?) who feel as much a part of my family as my real family does.
• I am thankful for three beautiful, smart, caring and creative sisters and one handsome, intelligent and sometimes mysterious brother. All of whom I love and care and worry about more than words can express.
  
• I am thankful that I grew up with the privilege of speaking English, a skill that took no more effort than any other child learning their native language, but which gives me endless opportunities in life, travel and work. It also allows me access to a huge amount of information, virtually unparallelled in any other language.
  
• I am thankful to be healthy; thankful to have healthy parents and siblings, and six beautiful, healthy nieces and nephews.
• I am thankful that as much as the world is full of terrible things, it is also full of wonderful things that make the terrible things worth overcoming.
  
• I am thankful that on the days that living in China overwhelms me, that I can remember that I have the freedom and privilege to return to my home someday, and that I have a nationality and wealth that allows me to travel (almost) anywhere I want to.
• I am thankful that I have always been able to be in control of my reproductive decisions.
  
• I am thankful for my students who are genuinely interested in the knowledge I have to offer them.
• I am thankful that the home I look forward to returning to has beautiful clean air, rivers, evergreen trees, and safe, delicious food from around the world.
• I am thankful that I have never known what it's like to be hungry, what it's like to be homeless, or what it's like to be gravely ill.
  
• I am thankful to have had access to a world-class education, that taught me how to be a critical thinker, and gave me the tools to become my own teacher.
  
• I am thankful to have had the opportunity to choose my vocation in life.
  
• I am thankful to have things to look forward to in my future. 
• I am thankful for all the things I don't even know enough to be thankful for.
  

I know I need to be thankful for these things, because I know now more than ever what it means when you don't have them. I now have less than 8 months left of my Peace Corps service, which means I am about 2/3 of the way through my time here. It seems incredible to me that at this time next year, I will be with my family and friends, preparing to enjoy the holidays with them. Thinking about it gives me this overwhelmed feeling, like I can't believe how lucky I am to be alive in this body; how amazing it is to exist in this life I have the opportunity to live.

And, as I ponder this incredible feeling of thankfulness, I can turn my attention toward making it through this last set of holidays without my family, and look forward to a break from the concrete cold of our apartment this winter as we plan our way to the beautiful temples and beaches of Indonesia in January. (!!!)

Thankfully yours,
Katie